Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mama Bird

Someone once said that to be a mother is to know what it's like for your heart to walk around outside of your body.

Yeah. Exactly.

nature bird wing wildlife beak fauna swimming poultry hen family mother duck paddling vertebrate waterfowl babies water bird mallard ducklings brood mallard ducks ducks geese and swans seaduck
My "hearts" now walk around many miles away from me. (One of them always has.) And while I know that this is the ultimate goal, for all us Mamas... to raise our children up to be independent of us... To help our little birdies fly from the nest... It's not the easiest thing to do.

It's hard.

It's so freaking hard.

We go from being their main source of love and support, their soul provider and nurturer, to just a guide. An example. And in some cases, we may feel like we don't matter any more.  Like they don't need us... or want us.

I've felt this way many times.

But it's not true. It's a LIE straight from the pit of hell.

Do. Not. Believe. It.

I'm in my mid-forties and I need my Mama every single day.  She speaks life into my heart, and she holds me and comforts me when I hurt. Just like she always has. I am but one of her four "hearts" walking around on this earth, yet she does the same for all of us. She pours herself into us, and helps us stand on our own. She is fierce, and protective, and nurturing and kind. We are her world.

Yes, I think I'll take a chapter out of her book.

I'll continue to speak into the hearts of my children, and love them the best I can from afar. I'll support and guide and nurture them with my prayers and my thoughts. I will discover new ways to pour into their lives, and help them in their journey. I"ll make sure that not a day goes by that they don't know that they are, and always have been, my world.

This Mother's Day they are not physically with me, but they never leave me. They are my source of inspiration, my life's breath, my reason for being. These children are precious. They are special. They are MINE.

And while they are walking around out there in this big old world, they are covered with my love, and the love of their Heavenly Father. May they each make indelible footprints for others to follow.

So, to Emilee, Jacob, Sam, and Josh, I say...

Fly, little birdies. Fly!! Soar to the highest of heights. Your Mama loves you all the way to Jesus and back! Though you were once covered and sheltered beneath hers, she will always be the wind beneath your wings!

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Thursday, February 1, 2018

Laying It all Down

I recently typed out this prayer from a book I'm reading, that I wanted to share with y'all. It has encouraged me in so many ways, and I hope that it will do this same for you... I think I'm gonna frame it and hang it by my bathroom mirror, so that I can recite it each and every day.  Powerful stuff...

My whole life I’ve searched for a love to satisfy the deepest longings within me to be known, treasured, and wholly accepted. When you created me, Lord, Your first thought of me made your heart explode with a love that set you in pursuit of me. Your love for me was so great that You, the God of the whole universe, went on a personal quest to woo me, adore me, and finally grab hold of me with the whisper, “I will never let you go.”

Lord, I release my grip on all the things I was holding onto, preventing me from returning Your passionate embrace. I want nothing to hold me but You. So with breathless wonder, I give you all my faith, all my hope and all my love.

I picture myself carrying old, torn-out boards that inadequately propped me up and placing them in a pile. This pile contains other things I can remove from me now that my new intimacy-based identity is established.

I lay down my need to understand why things happen the way they do.

I lay down my fears about others walking away and taking their love with them.

I lay down my desire to prove my worth.

I lay down my resistance to fully trust Your thoughts, Your ways, and Your plans, Lord.

I lay down being so self-consumed in an attempt to protect myself.

I lay down my anger, unforgiveness, and stubborn ways that beg me to build walls when I sense hints of rejection.

I lay all these things down with my broken boards and ask that your holy fire consume them until they become weightless ashes.

And as I walk away, my soul feels safe. Held. And truly free to finally be me.

(Excerpt from Univited by Lisa TerKeurst)

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