Thursday, February 12, 2015

Love In Any Language

"Love in any language
straight from the heart,
Pulls us all together, never apart.
And once we learn to speak it
all the world will hear,
love in any language
fluently spoken here."
We sang that song in Youth Choir.

Complete with sign language.

But that ain't what this post is really about, Y'all.. Well, it sort of is, actually!

Maybe? Just a little bit. ;-)

This song, no doubt, describes God's love and loving others (all nations, colors and creeds) through Him.  But I want to talk about loving others as it applies to our relationships.  Particularly our marriages.

You know, because it's Love Week.

When Chris and I were engaged, my pastor had us work through the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, as part of our pre-marital counseling.  Early on, we found it quite beneficial to know exactly how to "fill each other's love tanks".

Then we had a baby.

And another baby.

And one more baby...

And life got hectic and crazy.  Then it settled down a bit, and just became routine.

My "babies" are currently 15, 13, and 10.  While life can still get crazy and hectic, it's mostly just one huge schedule.  Go here at this time.  Be there at that time.

I've been seeing a lot on the interweb this week about how to keep love fresh, and rekindle romance. I thought I would take a look back at this handy dandy little tool.  But first, I took the test again.

When we first got married, my primary Love Language was Gifts.  This means that I liked receiving gifts... so much, that it was my number one way to feel loved.  Now?  My primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation.  I need to be encouraged with words... told "I love you", "I'm proud of you.". "I appreciate you."

Here's a neat little chart to help me explain...

Turns out, it's not unusual for your Love Language to change as you grow, so it was a good idea for me to take the test again.  See. maybe that's part of our "stuck" problem.  If Reeder and I are still trying to fill each other's tanks using the methods that worked 17 years ago, and here we are all this time and all these "babies" later, well, it's probably just not gonna work! In fact, it hasn't.  So I have asked him to take the test again, too!

I'm looking forward to seeing his results. To learning new ways to connect...  and how to become fluent in new "languages", if you will.

Because once we learn to speak it... then our spouse will hear... :-)

Do you know your Love Language?

You can find out all about them, and even take the test for yourself at The 5 Love Languages Website.  There are also 5 Love Languages books and resources for Children and Teenagers, as well.  (TEENAGERS, People! Because who doesn't need help unraveling THAT mystery!?!?)

I also discovered that there's now a "thing" called Apology Language... which could be good to know when you hurt your spouse's (or anyone else's) feelings -- to help you restore the connection. Pretty cool!

What do you do to reconnect and stay strong in your marriage?  I'd love to hear about it!

Happy Valentine's Day, Y'all!!
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