Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Personal Accountabilty

Woah!  Sounds like this one's gonna be pretty solemn, y'all...
Who knew I was capable of such depths?? Haha!!

But seriously....

I've been thinking a lot about this lately.


According to Todd Herman, a simple definition of personal accountability is this:
Being willing to answer - to be accountable - for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behaviors, and actions.
My husband offered to let me read a book that he just finished titled "The Question Behind the Question" by John G. Miller.  The entire premise of this book is to practice personal accountability.  The subtitle says "What to Really Ask Yourself to Eliminate Blame, Complaining, and Procrastination."

Okay.  Does this guy know me?? Does he have a hidden camera in my house?? Does this book have SUSANNE REEDER written ALL OVER it?!?!

Let me offer a little back story here.

Two years ago, I was in the best physical shape of my adult life.  I was down 50+ pounds, walking 2-3 miles each day, and participating in Zumba classes at my local YMCA 3 times a week. I looked GOOD! ;-)  More importantly, I FELT good.  I had developed a "no excuses" mentality and I was taking care of me.

My household was in order. I was ministering to my children and my husband in positive ways. I was working in a ministry for students.  I was productive.  I was using my gifts and talents to honor and glorify my creator.

What happened???

Well, I won't offer up all the gory details here, but suffice it to say LIFE happened.  Things have a way of rearing their ugly little heads when we least expect them.  Disappointments.  Failures.  Broken relationships.  Shattered dreams.  Lies and betrayal.  Long story short, I was completely and utterly devastated.  I spun myself a little cocoon of self pity and I stayed there.  For a year.  A solid year!

Even after I broke out of the numbness I had blanketed myself with, I still wasn't healing.  Wasn't moving forward.  I had spent so much time asking "Why did this happen to me?" and perfectly playing the role of victim that I just couldn't get past it.  I was blaming... complaining... procrastinating...

Wait.  I AM STILL doing all those things.

While many things that happened were results of the choices of others, not my own, I still made choices.  I still bare some responsibility.  But that's just what we do now-a-days isn't it?  We fall down and we blame those who tripped or pushed us and just stay "stuck" in the muck and the mire instead of MAKING A CHOICE to get up, and move on!

"It's not my fault."
"That's not my job."
"That's so not fair."
"Why do I have to do (insert unwanted task here)?"

I see examples of these things every day.  In my life... In my children's lives...  It's in businesses... In schools... EVERYWHERE!

The result of this kind of thinking - this behavior - is extremely negative.  For example, I said before that two years ago I was in the best physical shape of my life?? Today, I am 65 pounds overweight.  My blood pressure is through the roof.  And I break a sweat walking around the block!

My house has been in chaos. My husband and kiddos have had to fend for themselves. I no longer work in any ministry.  I haven't been using my gifts and talents at all.  I've been sitting in a puddle crying "Whoa is me".

Well, as my granddaddy, "Pa", used to say... "Enough's enough, and too much ain't good for nothin!"

I could continue to blame "life" and circumstances" for the shape I am in, but I won't... I refuse... I quit!!

The buck stops here!!

I'm tired of being stuck.  I'm sick of being defeated.  It's time to GET UP, GET OUT of the muck, and MOVE FORWARD.

I'm excited about this new little tool I've found, and how God is going to use it to grow me.

Stretch me.

Move me.

Change me!!

... I'll keep you posted on my progress! ;-)

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  1. I love this!!! Personal Accountability! We must teach it to our children and live it ourselves! Great post, cousin!

  2. Yeah girl done that for sure, a few times and have also been struggling to keep from falling back into old "it's all about me" habits and attitude". Soi thankful for the Lord being so patient with me an d continuing to show me no matter how many times we slide down in the mud, he's always waiting to pull us out onto solid ground!

  3. I guess that's why it's so important to realize our relationship with Christ is not the only thing that matters in Christianity... it's our relationship with His Body, The Church, too! We can't do it alone; we need each other to be a sounding board, to help us see when we're beginning to slide, and to pick us up when we've slid further than we would have if we'd had someone helping us see we were beginning to slide in the first place... ;)

    And I guess that's where humility fits in. It's hard to have someone point out our faults and failures, no matter how lovingly they may be able to do it. Lovingly, graciously, ACCEPTING their analysis to heart takes nothing short of God's amazing grace!

    I am excited for you as you begin this journey! I look forward to regular updates (ahem!), and I will be praying for you!! ♥

  4. Thanks, Ladies! Your comments are such an encouragement to me. I really decided to post this as a matter of public record... to hold myself, well... accountable, but the words you have shared have been a comfort. (((HUGS))) to all!!!!


Bless your heart! Thanks for stopping by!!